Treatment #8

I'm not sure where the summer has gone! But for me it has certainly flown! I feel that summer was such a blessing and I'm super grateful that it was the summer during my main treatments. The cold sensitivity is real and I think winter may have been miserable. But alas! It has been warm weather. I've been able to keep my house warm, and now I'm nearly finished with my chemo treatment cycle.

Treatment #8

Lori was so sweet and came with me for #8. We laugh and smile when we are there. I'm grateful that we can laugh. She helps make the time go quickly. We also played games that Steven introduced me to. Unfortunately, I get a little chemo brain, so she crushes me on most of the games. Haha! 

I was planning on another slow drip, but I didn't pay much attention to the flow rate. When my nurse plugged it in, he put i the calculation as though it were a large bag of meds instead of the smaller bag that I get, so it ended up being a 2-hour drip instead of the 4. I didn't even realize it until about 15 minutes before it finished. 

When I finished up, I didn't feel too great, so I ended up going down to Lori's with her and spending the night. I did make it okay through the night and Thursday was also a pretty good day. I was able to work and got some things finished up.

Mom and Dad came up on Thursday evening and we went to watch Mckenzie's soccer game. It was fun to be there. I did get pretty tired by the end, but it was okay. On Friday they took me to get my pump removed. Then I rested for a little bit while Mom and Dad ran some errands. They have been so good to be here with me! I truly am so grateful! Then we went down to Lori's for Daniel's birthday party with his friends. It looked like they had a great time!

That evening I went ahead and came back to my house and rested pretty well. I was able to work at the temple. My side effects were ok and I was able to go. It is always so sweet to be there! I ended up working at a couple of standing posts, but I was able to sit down between patrons. Then I had a sitting post and I got really sleepy. Oh boy! Haha but I made it and rested the rest of the day.

Side Effects

Overall, my side effects have been fairly normal. I noticed this time that my feet peeled a little bit, but they weren't too bad. My hands had a few peeling spots, but overall made it. They were extra sensitive to cold, so I wore my gloves a little more - especially for my morning walks. I've also been a little more tired, so I've rested a little bit more. I have made it. Yesterday and today my hands have been pretty red and a little puffy, but it has been tolerable.

Mom and Dad

Mom and Dad officially finished their mission during this treatment cycle. I'm sad to see them leave to go back to Colorado. It has been such a blessing to have them relatively close by. I know it took faith for them to say yes to staying for another 6 months, but what a blessing and tender mercy it has been for me! I really have appreciated having them. I feel like our family is blessed when they are serving. I hope they can feel that their offering and their sacrifices are acceptable to the Lord. They have given much and have made Cove Fort a better place because they were there. 

Reflections

As I am nearing this phase of my treatment cycle, it has been a tender time for me. I have felt so blessed and so strengthened since the day I received my diagnosis. I have felt the love and strength from the Lord, from my family and friends, and I have had amazing doctors and nurses. They have been so supportive and so kind and helpful. I know this probably sounds a little strange, but it is almost bittersweet to come to the end. I want to make sure I have changed through the process of my cancer. I want to make sure I have become someone different as a result. I want to be a better person moving forward and a better disciple of Jesus Christ. I want to be more like Him because of this experience. It truly has become a sacred space and a sacred journey for me. 

Amy Wright, who is a counselor in the General Primary Presidency, described very eloquently how I feel in her talk Christ Heals That Which is Broken. 

Waiting upon the Lord can be a sacred place—a place of polishing and refining where we can come to know the Savior in a deeply personal way. Waiting upon the Lord may also be a place where we find ourselves asking, “O God, where art thou?”—a place where spiritual perseverance requires us to exercise faith in Christ by intentionally choosing Him again and again and again. I know this place, and I understand this type of waiting.

She then went on to describe a little bit of her own cancer journey. This talk has given me a lot of comfort in the last 6 months when she gave the talk. 

Would I have chosen this as my own trial? Probably not. Would I trade the experience I have had - No! Not for anything! It has brought me closer to the Lord. It is helping me to slow down and to remember Him more. I am learning to trust Him. It is helping me come to know Him. It is my very own Rocky Ridge. My own Martin's Cove. My own Liberty Jail. 

This last three weeks we have been studying Isaiah in Come Follow Me. I'm coming to find beautiful things in Isaiah that I love. There are some verses that are so powerful. One of my all-time favorites is Isaiah 41:10: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." and 41: 13 "For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."

He continues to bring joy and beauty. I feel it regularly and I pray that you may also find joy and beauty and love along your journey as well!