Treatment #2 and Tribute to Dad

Treatment #2 

I made it through Treatment #2! I feel like each one is a successful milestone. I was able to work at least part of the day on both Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday, I actually felt pretty good too! I definitely had more energy than #1. Mom and Dad were here with me this time. So we went to Sam's Club and I was able to walk around and get what I needed and not get too tired. I was so grateful!

After I got my pump out, Mom and Dad wanted to look for some new shoes, so we went to a store and they each found a pair. I didn't do a lot and toward the end, I sat down a bit. Then I came home and slept. I really wanted to try to work at the temple, so I went to bed early on Friday night and was able to wake up at my early hour of 2:45 AM to get ready. I felt like it was a miracle I was able to be there. I filled in a couple of spots and helped with a few random assignments that needed someone extra. I sat down a lot between patrons and was glad I could do that! By the time the shift was finished at 10, I was ready to come home.

It was a pretty funny rest of the day. I changed into my pants and then got on the couch and slept for about 2 1/2 hours. It was a good, deep sleep. Then I got up and ate a little something. Then I thought I might try to watercolor something. So I started watching a video on how to do it and before the 10-minute video ended, I left my paints right there and I leaned back in my chair and took another nap.

Somewhere in there, I also started a load of laundry. So I finally went up the stairs to put it in the dryer, but before I did, I thought I would just sit on my bed for a minute and then I'd change it...Well, an hour later, I woke up and changed the laundry. So that was pretty much how the day went - from couch to chair to bed to chair to couch. And I slept in all of them. I was also able to eat better than last time, so that was nice. I decided I would try to watch a movie before I went to bed to see if I could stay up a little later to make sure I'd be able to sleep. I hadn't seen it before, but I watched Encanto. I had heard good things about it and really liked the message from it! 

Side Effects

My mouth is still a little zingy when I take a first bite or two of pretty much anything and I still can't drink anything cold. I've noticed more neuropathy in my hands. So they feel a little tingly and I noticed especially yesterday morning they were really warm. My hands are never warm. Haha. My body definitely needs sleep and I feel like it is helping to regenerate. Today is Sunday and I've only taken two naps. Haha. I also went out to take a walk - it was short, but I was able to get out. As I was going to church this morning, I got to thinking about how grateful I am that my side effects are what they are. I am able to be out and doing a few things. I can work. I don't feel terrible all the time. And that makes me happy. I can do this with heaven's help!

Tribute to Dad

Today is Father's Day. I have the BEST dad any girl could ask for. Since I was a little girl, I have always looked up to my dad. He is always kind and gentle. He has always treated me with respect and love. He has talked to me kindly and supported me in my every need. He gives great advice. He is wise. He puts up with my silliness. He is a man of faith. He makes me want to be a better person. He is the dad Heavenly Father knew I needed on my mortal journey. He is always ready to give me a priesthood blessing when I need one. He is ready to strengthen me when I am weak. During this time especially, he is willing to drive a lot to be with me when I need him. Because I know and love my dad, it helps me have a glimpse of who Heavenly Father is and what He is like. Happy Father's Day, Dad!

Glimpses of Heaven (written for Dad on Father's Day 2022)

What must it have been like,

Waiting like we did,

To come down to earth

Where heaven was hid?

How would we make it?

What would it be like?

I'm sure Father told me to not fear,

I'd have a dad named Mike.

He would be gentle and kind.

He'd have a heart of gold.

When I had an ache in my heart,

He'd offer his hand to hold.

He would teach me to laugh

And to work and to play

He showed by example

How to find joy every day. 

My dad teaches me of

Patience, love, kindness, humility,

Faith, joy, trust, wisdom,

And the love Father has for me.

My Dad shows me what Heaven must be like

With Father above,

He exemplifies goodness,

And kindness, and love. 

Treatment #2 - in progress

I was able to go back to the clinic yesterday and my neutrophil count had doubled from last week, and that made it high enough to get another treatment. I'm so grateful. It is good to know that we are able to make progress toward the end goal. 

The doctor also said he has received approval for me to get a shot each time that will help to increase the production of bone marrow and that should help with my counts moving forward. It was really interesting too because he said that the increased bone marrow production can cause pain in the bones, but if you take a Claritin it really helps to improve that. 

The side effects are really interesting and it is fascinating to watch how the manage them. The chemo drugs are necessary but then you layer on a lot of other things to manage the side effects. But they make the treatment bearable so you can live as normally as possible. I'm grateful I've been able to work most days. I know the days I'm on treatment I work about half days ish those days, and having some Monday holidays certainly help too! But then I've been able to work the rest of the time. 

Because my blood counts are as low as they are, I've been trying to be really cautious about wearing a mask. I'm also grateful that wearing a mask isn't a foreign thing. People still look at you a little funny, but way less funny than if Covid hadn't happened. So that is another thing to be grateful for. 

My cousin Brad sent this video from a basketball coach who fought cancer. I really liked his advice - it's good advice for all of us! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

I've loved Cone Follow Me this year and am finding great examples of humility and faithfulness. I'm also grateful that we can learn from the non-examples like Saul and David who both started out so strong and faithful. I love the Lord and am so grateful that He allows us to see the beauty and the joy all around us and to see His hand in our lives. Find the JOY and BEAUTY today!

But wait...that wasn't the plan...

I admit it! I had that thought this very day. 

Attempt at Treatment #2

I found out yesterday that I've been around someone who tested positive for Covid. So when I went in for my treatment, the first thing I did was counsel with my doctor. He counted the days since the exposure and weighed the risk. He felt like since I haven't had any symptoms yet and the fact that my levels were solid last week when we ran my blood tests, that the risk was pretty low. We decided to move forward. I felt comfortable with that and he seemed to as well. 

I went ahead and got prepped for my treatment. First they took my blood sample to test my levels again. I had a nice visit with the nurse. She was so positive and personable. After she ran the tests, she came back and they showed that my levels were too low to do treatment today. So I visited some more with my doctor. He seemed a little surprised that the drop in my levels was as big as it was since most of the time a significant drop like that will show up in the first week. So I'll go back next week to see how the levels are doing. So I came home and was able to work the rest of the day. :) I had some meetings I was glad I could participate in!

"My Plan"

I like to have a plan. I waited until last week's blood tests to outline the plan so I could invite my family to be a part of the plan and I felt certain that I'd be able to execute the plan without a hitch. And here we are at pre-Treatment #2 and the plan is already changed. 

As I have reflected throughout the day, I have had a couple of thoughts. Thought #1: Let God Prevail. Thought #2; The Lord's timing is different than my timing. 

Let God Prevail

I have reflected on a talk given in General Conference by President Nelson in October 2020 called Let God Prevail where he talks about a Hebraic definition of Israel, which means "let God prevail." 

Here are a couple of quotes from the talk that stand out. 

"Are you willing to let God prevail in your life? Are you willing to let God be the most important influence in your life? Will you allow His words, His commandments, and His covenants to influence what you do each day? Will you allow His voice to take priority over any other? Are you willing to let whatever He needs you to do take precedence over every other ambition? Are you willing to have your will swallowed up in His?"

"...My dear brothers and sisters, as you choose to let God prevail in your lives, you will experience for yourselves that our God is “a God of miracles.”As a people, we are His covenant children, and we will be called by His name."

So I can be willing to let Him prevail and then watch for the miracles He will provide. 

The Lord's Timing

In 2002, Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a devotional address at BYU titled "Timing." In it he has some great quotes from especially Neal A Maxwell, so I'd recommend it as a good read (or listen). Here is one snippet that he used in the closing of his talk that I love.

"Do not rely on planning every event of your life—even every important event. Stand ready to accept the Lord’s planning and the agency of others in matters that inevitably affect you. Plan, of course, but fix your planning on personal commitments that will carry you through no matter what happens. Anchor your life to eternal principles, and act upon those principles whatever the circumstances and whatever the actions of others. Then you can await the Lord’s timing and be sure of the outcome in eternity."

There is purpose and there is a plan. I'm sure that this timing will unfold great things. We may need to adjust my treatment because of the effect on my body. So we will see now what next week brings. But until then, I'm going to enjoy one more week of feeling strong and enjoy the weather that is quite beautiful right now as spring turns into summer. The roses are in bloom as well as a lot of other flowers. It's a beautiful time of year when the days are long on both ends! May you all find gozo and belleza in your journey today!

Post Treatment #1 and Trip to Oregon

Post-Treatment #1

I have to say i am amazed at the body's ability to heal and to regenerate itself! The first few days after treatment were tiring and I didn't really feel like eating or doing very much, but I made myself eat something and tried to not sleep all the time. I also tried to go on walks. The first ones were just to the end of the street and back, but now I'm walking quite a bit more. I've been able to work and I am also very grateful for that. 

On Wednesday last week I went in to do a blood panel to check my levels after the first treatment, The doctor said my levels looked really good and he felt that we are good to proceed. That made me feel good that my body is bouncing back after the treatment.

Oregon

Since my diagnosis, the thing I really wanted was to be able to go to Oregon for my niece's graduation from high school. I wanted so much to be able to go to spend time with family and to be there at this milestone in her life. Mom and Dad were going to drive, so I was able to go with them and my oldest nephew. I felt good during the trip so that was good too. I get tired easily, but I was able to rest and sit down to help prepare dinner and the things we did. 

On the way, we listened to a new book - One Last Joyride by Dean Hughes. We laughed so hard throughout the book. It was a really well written and a fun story. It made the drive go really quickly and it had a nice message.  

This week I was reading an article in the BYU Alumni Magazine from Camille Johnson from a devotional she gave at BYU (Bound Securely to the Savior). In the talk, she quoted Elder Marvin J. Ashton. This quote has really changed my perspective on my treatments. I want to not just get to #8, but I really do want to find the good throughout each one.  Here is the quote. 

"A notion commonly shared by many [is] that the best of life is just ahead, over the next hill, a few years away, . . . [at graduation, when I marry], tomorrow, next month, when I turn [whatever age], or next summer. We become actively engaged in the pastime of conditioning ourselves to believe that happiness and achievement are always somewhere in the future. There is an attitude of tolerating today, even looking past today in anticipation of a better tomorrow.

". . . Those inclined to count their daily blessings have more to count because they help make more possible as they learn gratitude. A constant waiting for a brighter future may cause us to lose the beautiful today."

I have so many things to be thankful for - for kind emails and cards in the mail, for visits from family and friends, for good food, for a body that is resilient, for being able to laugh, for beautiful weather, for long sunny days, for flowers that are blooming, for being able to go for a walk - even if it is short, and for heaven's blessings. I love life and I'm grateful to live and to have meaningful things to do in my life. Life truly is beautiful and there is joy in every day!